This week I wanted to bring to you another Wardrobe experiment.
But this one went horribly wrong.
I will still share because when I was in grad school we always joked that it'd be nice if we were allowed to publish our failed experiments - we'd have way more publications that way and potentially we would be preventing others from screwing up the way we did...
You know the latest trend of wearing your bathing suit as a body suit , like Mickey from the series Love? I think her orange one-piece was the thing that started the “I ran out of underwear but I got to leave the house today” movement.
Who does that in REAL LIFE? And that’s how this wardrobe experiment started.
I got bathing suits! I got two one pieces! Maybe I can give this try!
I took my bathing suits and a couple of clothes that I thought would work. I took pictures. I wasn’t feeling too awkward, just a little bit self-conscious because my swimsuits show more boobs than I would show any day in the city.
First Outfit - So far, so good
This one piece is a purchase from the summer of 2015. It was the first one piece I had bought since I was an elementary school girl. I felt like a grown up woman because I thought to myself that I was buying a bathing suit that was pretty and it had nothing to do about looking "hot" for other people (men). When I buy bathing suits, my first concern is if it’s going to hold on when I go swimming. This one holds on well, even if it’s a strapless.
I thought to go nautical with this and paired it with red jeans. Manizales is not beach weather, or hot weather. I know I could have added another layer that was more “summery” but I don’t have those clothes here. So I had to do with what I had, which is part of the challenge, so I chose a denim jacket that would offset some of the excess skin I was showing lol.
It wasn’t too bad…but I felt like was trying too hard. I also don’t want to be worried of an accidental boob show in the middle of the bank or supermarket. Maybe if I was a confused 19-year-old who thinks female empowerment is Kim Kardashian’s oiled ass...maybe. #oldmillennialrant
Second Outfit - SO RATCHET
This is one of those “It sounded good on paper” but, girls, I WOULD NEVER LEAVE MY HOUSE WEARING THIS. I don’t wear backless halters since the 2000s. I like being COMFORTABLE. That's not even the issue, it's more about LET'S TALK ABOUT 'DEM BOOBIES. While this bathing suit will hold my tatas in place (I even went snorkeling with it, no prob), wearing this in the city is just RATCHET. I was looking at the photos and laughing so hard because there is absolutely nothing redeeming about this.
This bathing suit has some ethical credentials, if you are wondering why am I publishing this lol. The one piece is from Agua Bendita, a Colombian brand that works with single mothers (usually the breadwinners) and provides them with training and employment to make these beautiful bathing suits.
See how amazing I feel in this one piece…at the beach! WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WEAR IT!
In conclusion, if you are going to do this, you should buy a bathing suit that is modest. You can get some beautiful one-pieces that have coverage, like these brands that turn ghost fishnets and other nylon waste into swimsuits.
Also, I’m officially a 30-year-old and I’m fed up with trends. I wouldn't wear this in real life, not even if I was on Ambien (like Mickey was on that episode).